Title = what I kept repeating while I was logging in.
While I’m not sure I feel up to “writing real stuff” tonight, in a long extended real stuff sort of way, here are things that have happened recently.
My dad had half of his colon removed, but will not need chemo. He was in the hospital for a week, which is just . . . that seems crazy these days, doesn’t it? It was terrifying, in that way that you don’t let yourself think too much about it until it’s over and then the weight of it settles and you just sob for an hour because, well.
A family friend died unexpectedly while Dad was still recovering. Her cat, Fancy, came to live with us. Ada is a cat lady. I’m working very hard to focus on how happy the cat is, and how happy Ada is, and let that push out any thoughts about a mother that died while I was firming up my denial that my father ever could.
The real stuff that isn’t quite so “real” happened too.
I hired a landscaper because I didn’t want to move that much, and bought a deskcycle because if I’m not moving, I fidget so much that my brain stops working.
I planted four Eastern Redbuds and I think Ada has run over three of them with her PowerWheels this week.
Mare and her daughter came for a visit and I showed them a perfectly normal average Beth sort of week that included a television news camera. Ada’s Only Child flag flew high and proud at times.
I got a massage and I am going to have another.
I bought some new art. I “found” some new art/old furnace door. I hung old art I bought forever ago.
I decided on my next band name.
I re-thought my relationship with the internet, and this site, as one does during a 3 month hiatus. Usually I re-theme when I re-examine, but I still love this. It feels like my living room, a little bit of every texture I know.
I drank a beer tonight and I am going to have another, and just sit and stare at my white walls that I love so much, and let them clear out my brain. My dog is also white, as is my cat. I’m pretty committed to never wearing black clothing outside of the house ever again.
Oh, and I have a new motto.