1. Just chill for awhile, you know? Maybe smirk your beak because you’re plotting something?
2. Feed your giant chicken some cheesey goldfish. He’s probably hungry.
3. Run away screaming. He’s chasing you, fool.
4. Let your chicken relax for awhile.
5. Unless he’s in your chair. Are you kidding me, chicken?
6. Establish 4-wheeling chicken safety rules. Chicken butt in the seat, chicken. No standing while you ride, chicken. No using the quad to reach the front door knob. Wing to god, Mama, that was totally the chicken who did that.
7. Refuel with a snack in your chicken-free chair.
8. Name your chicken. Nah, that can wait until tomorrow.